The Jerk | 1979

Clip Name: Opti-Grab News Piece

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  • Character
    Quote
  • Unknown

    American Time news magazine turns its probing eye...

    ...on Navin Johnson, the inventor ofthe Opti-Grab...

    ...that little glasses handle that sold 10 million units in a few short months.

    Mr. Johnson, you've become a millionaire overnight. Who are you?

    Who is Navin Johnson?

    Navin is a complex personality, as are most ofthe...

    ...small breed of modern-day renaissance millionaires.

    We hadplanned to show you the entire Johnson interview.

    However, when we returned to our studio, our news department informed us...

    ...ofa sensational development in the Johnson story.

    It seems that an irate group of citizens...

    ...led by the celebrity, Mr. Carl Reiner...

    ...has fiiled a class action suit against Mr. Johnson and his Opti-Grab.

    Here's what Mr. Reiner had to say at a press conference:

    When Opti-Grab came out l thought it was the greatest thing ever.

    And l bought a pair. And this is the result.

    This little handle is like a magnet. Your eyes are drawn to it...

    ...and you end up cockeyed.

    Now, as a director, l am constantly using my eyes...

    ...and this Opti-Grab device has caused irreparable harm to my career.

  • Carl Reiner

    Let me show you a clip from my latest fiilm...

    ...where my faulty depth perception kept me from yelling "cut" at the right time.

    Cut!

    Ifl had yelled "cut" on time, those actors would be alive today.

  • Unknown

    That's why l am spearheading the $10 million class action suit...

    ...against Mr. Johnson, and his irresponsible selling ofa product...

    ...he didn't even test on prisoners!

    -Thank you. -Party's over!.

    Wait a second. Where you going?

    I'm gonna get in touch with that Reiner guy.

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