Role Models | 2008

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Mr. Bullshit and Dr. I'm-full-of-shit.

In what way are we full of shit?

Which one of us has the Ph. D?

So how was your first weekend with the boys?

It was great. We did 14 hours. Will you sign our sheets?

Maybe give us a few more, just for kicks? Round it up to 50?

Don't you sass me.

What, do you think I'm a pushover? You know what I used to eat for breakfast?

Cocaine.

You know what I used to eat for lunch?

Cocaine.

What'd you have for dinner? Was it cocaine?

I will sign your sheets, but you need to know I am not here to service your hours.

I'm here to service these young boys.

Do you think I give a shit if you guys go to prison?

I've been to prison. I have.

I've been to prison.

A prison of drugs, alcohol and sick thoughts.

I used to have sick thoughts.

So don't you come in here,

preaching to me about hours

when you're standing over there, and you're standing over there,

and I don't know which way is up!

Um... Should we come back?

We can come back. Yeah.

Come here.

We're having an overnight camping trip, Big Bear this weekend.

I suggest that you ask your Littles to go with you.

Maybe worry a little bit about them and not so much about your hours.

Overnight? That's great. Sign us up.

And, fellas, will you do me a favor?

Next time you want to bullshit me,

bullshit each other instead, okay?

See how that feels.

Okay. Yep.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

All right.

I hate camping.