Mystery Men | 1999

Hello, Champion City.

Daddy is home.

Hi, everybody.

Tooth decay and gingivitis can be a crime.

That's why I use Mighty Whitey toothpaste.

Because I want my teeth to look amazing.

I'll bring this up again. It's $150 apiece. We each chip in.

My cousin knows a guy who knows a publicist.

What will we publicize? The fact that we get our butts kicked a lot.

If you didn't smack me with a shovel every time we went out...

...we'd have more wins to brag about.

I'm sorry. I just tend to lose my concentration...

...when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.

I get it. Your shovel in his face is my fault.

You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.

What was up with that?

I thought it was a fork.

You're the master of cutlery.

You can't throw a knife when someone's trying to kill me?

You can't use a rake?

No, I'm the Shoveler.

I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man.

I'm not Knifey Boy. I'm the Blue Raja.

That's another thing.

What?

You could get a bit of blue in the uniform somewhere.

You've got green. There's a little flowery thing.

It doesn't make a lot of sense.

If we could stop being so literal for just one moment.

Look what I'm doing. Look at that.

I'm putting $150 on the table. Who's in with me?

I don't have $150.

If I did, I wouldn't have plundered my mother's silverware.

It's a waste of money.