Hamlet 2 | 2008

You can't let your ethnic narrow-mindedness

stop your son from thriving in our culture.

I have to take exception to that characterization.

Heywood's a bad boy.

He's a gang-banger. A deadbeat.

But he also has a gift.

Who is Heywood?

Your son, Heywood Jablomey.

Oh.

I just got that.

Octavio doesn't belong to a gang.

He's got a 3.9 and an early acceptance to Brown.

He does?

Yes, our concerns about the play are of a different nature.

If it's the sex and violence, I can totally tone that down.

No, we are fine with those.

Then what is it?

We merely expressed our absolute distaste for a sequel

to what is arguably the greatest play in the English language.

Not to mention the quality of the writing, which is quite low.

Well, no offense, but what the hockey-puck do you know?

Well, I've published nine novels.

I have a PhD in literature.

My wife is a painter.

She currently has an exhibit at the Guggenheim in Bilbao.

Oh, okay.

Then...

Help me fix my play!

I'm trying to save drama!

You have Hamlet using a time machine

to stop Gertrude from drinking the poison,

to stop Ophelia from drowning.

You're taking the tragedy out of the tragedy.

I just wondered why in Hamlet 1 everybody has to die.

It's such a downer! I mean, if Hamlet had had just a little bit of therapy,

he could have turned everything around.

Everybody deserves a second chance!

Yes, well, we'll let Octavio make up his own mind.

Thank you for taking the time.

Let me show you the way out.

Could we talk more?

I would love to get your notes.

I would do anything... I'd do chores.

I'd clean your rain gutters.

I'm afraid we don't have rain gutters.

You're a liar, everybody has rain gutters!