The Other Side of the Bed | 2002

You were too nice to her. Women hate that.

The worse you treat them, the hornier they get.

You're too soft, Pedro. You're lucky to be rid of her.

That's right, Pedro.

Girlfriends are the worst.

Right, Carlos?

Yeah, but...

No buts. Look at Carlos.

Happily single. Now it's your turn.

You can do whatever you want without answering to anybody.

And consider this:

Girlfriends never last.

But an ex-girlfriend lasts forever. You can fuck her whenever you want.

It's been proven.

Actually...

But you and Victoria have been going out since...

So what? Sure, I live with Victoria. But I screw all the women I can.

That's the trick.

Know what's wrong with this country? People don't fuck enough.

Forget what the sociologists say.

I've learned what I know from life itself.

People...

What's your point?

What's your point?

Shit, Pedro.

Don't interrupt me.

People go crazy.

Why? Lack of sex.

When you become a couple you screw less.

Nobody knows why, but it's true.

Not me.

So people end up unhappy.

What about me? I fuck like a champ.

I have a girlfriend but I screw around,

which is what keeps us happy and together. Like in Cuba.

Cubans are living on food rations,

practically starving to death,

but they're happy. Why? Because they're always fucking.

You always see them dancing and screwing around.

It's the Latin character.

Yeah, but Cuba...

You see, Pedro? That should be your motto. Forget Paula.

To hell with her. I know plenty of choice girls.

They don't need to be choice.

The other day this total babe got in my taxi.